Kevin and I were chatting with a colleague of mine yesterday, an older lady teaching lower primary school. In the middle of our conversation she made reference to Kevin as my boyfriend. I was sure she knew we were married, so I laughed and reminded her of this. She said something to the extent that we aren't married until we have kids! Despite the wedding ceremony and reception, vows, rings, marriage certificate, living together, having a dog(!), to some here, we are still not considered a married couple! And all this time, I thought we'd been married for almost 4 years!
We probably should have expected this response because having children with your partner and then getting married is far more common than the vice versa here, even among the younger, more modern generation. This is in part because a woman's ability to birth children is of great importance to the man and so it is in his interest to do a (or more than one) test run. It is also helpful to have more time so the couple can save money and prepare for having a large wedding. Aside from that, it's just the norm.
To bring up another point, one that is possibly politically incorrect, we're honestly not sure how this fits in with Namibians' Christian beliefs and practice. (Remember, Namibia is 90% Christian, and from we can tell, is largely church-attending.)
I see no one has touched this subject yet! Honestly, when you look at the so-called Christian population in the US, things aren't much different. The divorce rate is just as high as the non-Christian segment, and having kids before marriage is all too common. The marriage ceremony and vows have become trite and commonplace - they don't carry the import with the later generations that they once did with the parents and grandparents. Selfish desires have taken the place of godly ones. So this issue doesn't fit with Christian values, but is happening because people want what they want and are not as concerned about what God desires for them. They'll justify their actions and try to fit them into their religious beliefs or just ignore the fact of their immorality and focus on all the good things they do. It's sad because it's the children who will be affected in the long run.
ReplyDeleteMarriage & family are holy & special in God's eyes according to His word, the Holy Bible. One must remember that the word "Christian", today, can mean whatever, like believing in God which doesn't make them a Christian. Some even think their entrance to heaven is by good works or through Mary. One must believe they were born a sinner & seek forgiveness through Christ. True Christians accept that Christ, God's son, came to earth & was crucified for our sins on the cross, died, rose again, & is now in heaven. That's why we celebrate Easter in a few days. And the whole reason we should try & live according to
ReplyDeleteBible principles. Basically, it's the meaning of "Christian" that makes all the
differences. A country can be called Christian, but not adhearing to Bible values.
That's pretty interesting that that's the norm... I mean, shot gun weddings aren't entirely uncommon here, but typically having kids before marriage is considered a mistake whether the individuals are religious or not. I wonder if this is because America was 'founded' by Christians, making Christian values a big part of the culture which later immigrants of all sorts had to adapt to and etc, while Christianity is probably relatively new in Namibia, making the cultural momentum more difficult for Christian values to penetrate even for people who accept Christianity. Very interesting!
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